Taking Charge of What Comes Out of Our Mouths and In Our Ears

Bismillah (In the Name of Allah)

We, women, have a tendency to share a lot about the way we feel about things; we're intuitive, sensitive, emotional, and all of these necessary to be the nurturers. How could we be mothers if we were cold and calculating? Allah is most wise about the way he created us and the jobs he assigned to each one of us.

We value friendship and hold it very dear and sometimes believe that in our friends we can find the comfort we need when going through hardships. It's true in most instances, however, we must learn to control our tongues and, even harder, our ears from backbiting.

As humans, we like to complain about things we don't like in our fellow humans; as for women, backbiting our husbands is our top weakness in this regard. This leads to a whole lot of sins written on our list of deeds, a troubled marriage, and most times we even lose the good friends we might have if they're pious and want to avoid listening to backbiting.

In most cases we backbite our husbands when we're upset with them. What most forget is that wives and husbands get upset with each other and sooner or later we apologize to one another or make up in some way. After forgiving each other, for whatever is that happened, most women feel completely different about our husbands than when we were upset with them and wish we had not said all the bad things we said about them to our friends.

I'm not assuming that you (my readers) are backbiters. But since this is a horrible epidemic in our society I want to invite all of you to stay away from backbiting in all its forms and shapes: active and passive. Because the sin of the person who backbites is the same as the person who listens to backbiting.

May Allah strengthen us and may He be the one to whom we turn when we need to be heard.